Invasion of the Russian Robotoids

Invasion

Forget the Body Snatchers- the Russian Robotoids are here!

Between June 1975 and November 1982, conspiracy theorist Peter Beter released a series of cassette tapes that he called “audio letters.” In these tapes, the former lawyer and financier claimed that the world was being fought over by three shadowy factions:the Rockefeller family, the Russians, and a Bolshevik-Zionist alliance. According to Beter lore, the Russian government was controlled by a group of virtuous Christians, while the Rockefellers and Bolshevik-Zionists were nefarious evil-doers attempting to take control of the world. By the time Beter concluded his letters, the Bolshevik-Zionists had infiltrated the American government, with the Rockefellers and Russians teaming up to stop them.

It’s a needlessly complicated story, and so utterly outlandish that it borders on unintentional comedy. Of course, theories involving antisemitism, globalist bankers, and Russians are a dime-a-dozen among conspiracy theorists, but Beter makes things stupider by throwing in doppelganger robots. These “organic robotoids,” as Beter called them, were apparently indispensable in the Bolshevik-Rockefeller-Russian War.

The origins of the organic robotoids stretch back to 1975, when Russian scientists succeeded in creating the first model of the machine in secret. Organic robotoids are made from a person’s body cells, and are meant to work as body doubles. While manufactured and programmed like computers, robotoids are doomed to eat, bleed and die like conventional meatbags. They can’t reproduce, however, and their shelf-life lasts only a couple of weeks or months at the most. Fortunately, a robotoid can be made in a matter of hours, ensuring a steady supply of doppelgangers indistinguishable from their source.

When Beter broke this bombshell revelation in 1979, intelligence about the robotoids had already leaked to the United States. American robotoid engineering paled in comparison to the Russian variety, but that didn’t stop the CIA from attempting to use it. In April 1977, for example, the CIA tried to create a robotoid to replace General Gordon S. Brown, an air force general who Beter claimed prevented the outbreak of a nuclear war.

Brown’s robotoid was a complete failure, and the real Brown was murdered to cover up what he knew about the latest development in technological warfare. For publicity reasons, Brown was replaced with a real human double. After serving the government’s purposes, Brown’s double faked his death and was then shot to death for real on December 11, 1978. (In actuality, General Brown died from cancer, but let’s not let facts ruin Beter’s story.)

After the Great Brown Double Doubles Fiasco, an intelligence war was raged with robotoids in the United States. In the Beter mythos, there was a shadowy civil war in Russia between Christians and “Bolsheviks.” The Christians, of course, are the good guys, and the Rothschild-controlled Bolsheviks are communist atheists who have managed to infiltrate the United States. Directed by a Rockefeller “Hit List,” the good Russians dispatched robotoids to kill the Bolshevik agents in the U.S. This second infiltration of the American government ran all the way up to President Jimmy Carter; for reasons I’ll never properly understand, the Russians replaced Carter and his family with robotoic doubles, running at one point three Jimmy Carter robotoids simultaneously.

By October 1979, when Beter recorded his 51st audio letter, the Russians had used over eighteen Jimmy Carter robotoids in their global fight for justice. The Bolsheviks, meanwhile, had begun to fight back with similar machinations called “synthetic automatons.” This intelligence war resulted in a continually shifting balance of power. “When the White House is occupied by Bolshevik synthetics,” Beter notes, “American policy reflects the Bolshevik line; but whenever the Russians manage to replace synthetics with their own robotoids, White House policy is made in Moscow.”

Unfortunately, Peter Beter stopped recording his audio letters in 1982, leaving the epic saga of the Bolshevik-Rockefeller-Russian War on a cliffhanger. I suppose the world shall never know whether the robotoids succeeded in repelling the Bolshevik synthetic menace. Beter (or possibly his double) died in 1987, and while his wild tales had a cult following in their day, his conspiracy theories are little remembered today. If you’re curious, or in need of a good laugh though, this sympathetic website here has collected all of Beter’s ravings, along with a handy summary of his masterpiece.

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